Today feels like a venting day.
I’ve cleaned the missus’s car which was quite appallingly dirty. I can only assume that she is secretly keeping large dogs or acting as some kind of industrial soil transport contractor.
I endured a half an hour visit to the super massive Tesco off of the M32, having missed the junction first time and driven around in circles for 20 minutes prior to that.
And I’ve picked up my haul of 6 Hop, Green Hop and Belgian IPA Darkstar from work because the UK postal service is incapable of delivering a box and leaving it in a previously arranged safe place outside my house.
A generally productive day but one tinged with frustration.
My beer updates have been rare lately. Truth is I’ve been hugely busy with a “new” job which means travelling back and forth from London. It’s not remotely beer related but has come about partly as a result of my beer writing, which is pretty positive stuff and I am really enjoying it.
Whilst time has been at a premium, so have beer related ideas. I made a conscious decision when I started this website to only write about interesting things. And I haven’t really been able to think of anything interesting to write about.
In fact, a lot of things about beer have been annoying me quite a lot lately. So much so that I thought I’d just put them all on the table in a kind of Beer Bloggers’ Anonymous format in the hope that it will clear my head of beery negativity. So here, in no particular order, are my Top Ten Beer Rants:
Abusing Twitter for personal gain
I’m of the opinion that if someone says something nice about you on Twitter then you should say thanks and sit back in reflective glory. You don’t need to RT the complement. Also, if you write something somewhere on the interweb then let your followers know about it but don’t go asking people for RTs. It’s a bit pathetic and desperate.
Video beer reviews
Are these things real? Do people actually watch them? Sniffing the glass like you’re a wine critic, sloshing the beer around your mouth, talking about grass and cat’s piss. These people clearly don’t have any friends to go to the pub with. They’re just so so bad.
Trying to make beer something it isn’t
Beer is not wine, it doesn’t have to be paired with food and it’s not a cocktail ingredient. It’s beer, it’s great and it doesn’t need rebranding.
People baulking at high strength beer
If I drink 8% beer it doesn’t mean I’m sitting on turbo island with my local drinking buddies. People drink 12% wine nearly every day of their lives without ending up in a hedge in someone else’s garden. Stop judging me.
Brewing can be a hectic, isolated occupation. If you’re a small operation selling in-demand products, you might work 14 hour days, 6 days a week. So it’s not surprising that you might lose touch with reality a bit. Craft beer has an element of the “new rock and roll” about it so it figures that some brewers may get a touch of the rockstars about them. We love what you do but we’re not picking out all the blue M&Ms for you.
Bigging up breweries before you’ve even tasted their beer. Really?!
Unless you’re making a snail flavoured brew with liquid nitrogen, it’s probably been done before. The old ideas are always the best anyway.
Unimaginative real ale pubs
If you say you sell “fine real ales” but the furthest your imagination stretches is Butcombe, Doombar and Tribute then the furthest my wallet stretches is “not very fucking far”.
No pump clips
Your black board beer list looks lovely and everything but I like pump clips. They’re a pretty good indication of how good the beer might be. Cartoon half dressed lady – shitty brown and twiggy. Graphic designer’s wet dream – unbalanced IPA. Clean, smart and modern – probably pretty decent. I want pump clips back please, they look good and someone’s spent time making them.
Last but not least, people who think I’m a beer snob
Erm……well…..er……I’m not, honest. Ultimately, pubs are for meeting pals in and having a good time. I’d rather have good company in a shit pub with shit beer than uncomfortable silence in a destination beer bar. I drank shit beer for 15 years, I can manage another few pints.
Right, so I’m glad I’ve got that off my chest. Sorry if I’ve offended anyone (I’m not). I love you all really! Have a good Sunday.
Feel free to rant at me and call me a miserable prick @bluegiantbeer